Facing Reality is not my thing..

i keep on dreaming that one day your love will be mine..
but now that i have the chance to..
i don't have the courage to say my feelings to you..
to say that i love you..
many things are disturbing my mind..
many things that i'm so afraid about.
i wanna hold your hand...
i want to be the reasons behind those smiles..
i need you..
and i love you so much..
if only i can say those words to you..
if only....
and now
it feels like i want to escape to this feelings...
i can't face it..
the results of this words...
i'm too afraid...
scared...
disturbed..
i'm frustrated to myself...
i want to.but i can't..
i love you,but i'm too afraid..
and all i can do is to dream..
dream that i already have you..
and let myself to enjoy to those foolish lies..
my courage can't fight this frightened feeling..
i'm sorry..
(for what?
hahahahaha!!!!!!)
i can't face reality!!!

A Stupid Human Being

I'm all but a failure,
to my studies,to my relationships,to my family and to myself..
but what can i do?
this is all i can say or ask...
"what can i do?"
a short question that is being asked by the foolish me..
and here i am
waiting for myself or by someone to answer this question..
and then someone told me that i already know the solution to this problem..
i think till i can't think no more..
and still i can't identify that answer..
it's funny because that other person knew that i know the answer..
HAHAHA!
I'm really a foolish person..
or much better a stupid human being..
i wanna surrender to this emotions...
i wanna be taken away to the dugeon of my heart
and stay for eternity..
you can say i'm a weakling cause i am..
i don't wanna try,
i'm afraid to try,
nothing can save me,
nothing can catch me from this fall..
i'm alone till the end..
and it's much better...
i don't want to add more people that will be affected to my actions..
i wanna be alone..
but i can't.